Happiness! No one can enunciate enough how important it is. Just as important it is to be happy, it is equally important to be happy in one’s marriage. Little girls and young guys dream of having the perfect wedding and a blissful marriage that will be a reason of their happiness all their life. That is right. One expects to be happy in their marriage all lifelong. However, many times marriage, instead of the bliss it is meant to be, turns out to be the bone of contention, a reason of never ending misery. One of the major reasons why people suffer in marriage is when there is no love.
A loveless marriage is the worst. Love is the very basis, foundation of marriage. Without it, a marriage is lifeless. While one may not say out loud that they are in a loveless, unhappy marriage, there are subtle reasons for sure that point towards the fact that the marriage is a loveless, unhappy one.
- No communication
Just like communication is the very life-breath of a healthy relationship, the lack of it means that the relationship is dying. When there is no love, there is no need of communication; that is how people in loveless marriage feel.
- Lack of commitment
Love demands commitment. Commitment means not just being loyal to your partner, it also entails that you will be with your partner through thick and thin, good and bad. However, if you don’t love someone, why would you go through all that!
- You don’t make plans together
Isn’t it fun to spend time with your spouse? However, if you don’t love them, not so much! When you stop making plans together, it definitely means that there’s no love between you guys. Making plans for escapades together is what makes a marriage so romantic. Lack of it means the marriage is already a dud!
- There is no jealousy
When someone flirts with your spouse, you can’t help but feel jealous. That’s so good, cute even. When someone flirts with your spouse and you just wave it off without feeling any pang of jealousy, it means that you feel no love anymore!
- Your spouse isn’t your friend
The first and foremost basis of forming a long term relationship, especially a romantic one is to be friends first. Good friends make for goof spouses, someone you can share your feelings and life with. If there’s no amount of friendship between you two, then love will also soon go away, if it hasn’t already.
- You don’t visualize a future together
What good is a marriage if you can’t see a future together? Life partners are in it for good, and visualizing a future together – one with loads of happiness and hope, is essential. If you don’t see a future together, chances are that there is no love in your marriage.
- Your spouse isn’t on your speed dial
If you are in an emergency, and someone uses your phone to call up your family or friend, which name will appear on your call log at the top, or in your speed dial? Is it your mom, sister, friend, handyman…anyone but your spouse? It can only happen when your spouse isn’t important to you.
- You don’t seek your spouse’s advice
Who do you turn to for advice? When you need to open a bank account, or go shopping? When married, your partner takes over the role of being your friend and advisor. If they aren’t, isn’t it obvious that there is no love involved anymore!
- There’s no mutual respect
You can survive a marriage only when two people respect each other. You will be living with that person day in and day out, how can you survive under the same roof if you don’t respect the person you share it with?
- You don’t discuss private details
When there’s no love, there’s no communication. When you don’t communicate, you don’t share. It is a vicious circle. When you don’t love and trust a person, you don’t trust them to share your personal details.
- You don’t go out on dates anymore
Love means romance. Romance means doing romantic things. One of the romantic things is to go on dates. Do you go on dates with our spouse? Not anymore? Well, my friend, there’s no love left.
- A vacation together, really?!
When was the last time you went on a vacation together? If you don’t like spending couple time together, it is because you don’t feel any love with your spouse.
If you are in a loveless marriage, don’t lose hope. There is a reason why you married your spouse. The reason is that you loved them at some time. If you loved them then, you can love them again. Work on it and give it your best shot.